On yesterday, I informed my latest house-mates that I'll be leaving since I appear to be allergic to something in the space - namely the cat...NINA! Nina, their presient black pussy, never spared chance to hiss at me...especially when she didn't get her way...or I happened to be walking in the room. I am certain that this was reflective of an attitude shared by more that just THAT Pussy...as the others in this space have summarily slipped back INTO FORM. It would appear, that against their best intentions they opened their space to me...and have been holding their breath and tipping around my person ever since.
Just last week the male, a former associate, attempted to level the claim on passive aggressive against me, as he tried...18 days into the month to collect the other half of my rent...this after letting me know on my previous attempts to pay "it is ok"..."not just yet" and "don't worry about it yet." When he gingerly knocked on my door and stuck his often "I JUS' GOT OFF THE SHITTER" face into the crack in my already open door in that, "I'll take the other part of the rent now," I let him know I'd spent that. I needed to go food shopping...and wasn't sure WHAT was going on. Closed doors and rushed-passed-my-door "Hellos/GoodByes"...don't bring any clarity to a weird energy/situation. So...I went food shopping, figuring I'd get paid by the time...whenever that may be...he came...if he came to speak about the money. That didn't happen...so he fashioned his face and flexed his newly formed muscle to level the "Why are you being passive aggressive?" To this I simply leaned back and reminded him of just how everything gone down re. the second half of my rent...up to this point. Pussy # 2 stood, looking confused and wounded...unable to deny fact for fact on what I'd just stated. All those muscles and still lacking in the Back Bone of FACT that give that meat SUSTENANCE!!!
Pussy# 3 is perhaps the most pervasive beside the one with the 4 legs. It is HER apt, after all ...that we all are sharing. Problem is...SHE CAN't AFFORD to be here by herself. However, instead of acquiescing to the reality that she has others in her space...she opts to be a sloppy mess. She has been holding her breath...when HE is 'round...presumably because of promises he made to me so they could get my rent.
This came to light when HE went back home for his mother's (her aunt's) birthday in Florida. Sensing I would witness a shift, I kept consistent - cleaning after myself in "common areas" and working...heading out occasionally. During these 4 days she went out, stomped around early in the morning - opening and closing/slamming and slicing her way through the apt; never washed a dish, yet went out every night - even had a pic or 2 posted on FB to document the revelry. All of this without so much as a grunt towards me or the facade she'd been putting on the previous Month or so. The day HE returned...suddenly she was injured...walking with an ace bandage and a crutch. This state, somehow qualified the mess he returned to find the common spaces in. For me, as an observer, I was able to notice a WICKED game she'd been playing on him - one he seemed all-to-open to believing. There was NO finesse...at least from my perspective, yet he fell right into/for it, bringing her food...and washing up after her...as best he can. Problem is, he is a horrible housekeeper and if he truly had any wits about him, he'd see right through her - ERGO his PUSSY Stamp!!! This one got issues...the other enables them [cause they are family] and the first one wants to get fed, so she endures the displaced love...and does her.
[Their last housemate...who previously lived in my space...cut-out in the middle of the day, taking all her belongings and RENT out of this space in a HUFF!!! I was originally sold that she was the problem. However, as I have observed, she did it to save herself!!!]
It was after that fateful weekend that I determined I needed to be out of this space, otherwise I would expend far too much energy trying to figure it all out and WORK IT ALL OUT!!!! This is a HOUSE ISSUE/STYLE that has impacted everyone that has tried to exist in this space with them. Funny, I should have listened to the HMPHs I received from some of those who'd heard my plans. I believe that this will be the 6th space I have attempted to exist in the last 3 years. My instincts tell me to run...that if I don't get out now...I won't. Funny every circumstance I find myself in...seems that much more taxing and telling. Telling me that I won't be able to leave ...at least with any cash. Don't know what I was thinking when I moved-in here...other than, I gotta' get out of that hell-hole with Erin's sister. Funny thing...out of the frying pan, blah, blah, blah.
There is clear reaction/manifestation of their past here - interesting to observe, but awful to live with. They are SLOPPY Alphas, intent on rebuking all of the constraints that existed in the well-constructed lives their very Jamaican parents curated for them. I get that. However, as I am burdened with seeing through BS and into the TRUTH, I find it annoying to live with. HE - former Fatboy, cum thick Kid...came out late and is in the throws of answering all those questions about sex and his Uality NY allows for, plus redressing himself in everything ANTI-before...including cleanliness.[Recently had a friend from BEFORE stay over and remark, "When did THIS happen?!?!? You used to be so neat...everything IN ORDER!!!"]
That brings me to HER - mad about the compartmentalization of all things female in the Caribbean Life n Style - she has opted to be Dominatrix...on the low!!! This way she is control...kinda'. Mine is not a space to judge, but rather to recognize - AGAIN - that I am not needing to be party to this madness. More Humorously, my presence is as polarizing to her as it is to most LESBIONIC chicks. Side-Eyes and giggles abound, as we did our best not to acknowledge the seams showing through on her shabbily-constructed harness.
AGGRESSIVES...the only that would qualify is the CAT in the SPACE, yet you splash her with water and she is out the way...until some more fish comes up.
I got to get out of this space...and to that I mean NYC.
I can't enable CRAZY.
I thank them for informing my path...whatever that means. I have learned that I cannot exist like this - a MESS!