Bilal - Levels (Official Music Video Directed by Flying Lotus)

Hmmm....

Rain on the 1st Day
Snow on the 2nd.
and on the 3rd day...

Brother Love - My Plates

I found it.

I had an experience...I remember it. 
Riding downtown...I believe in TROY's White Honda Prelude...after smoking out to a New Year at David Malebranche's Dorm/Apartment.  It was a group of us there to celebrate New Year's...complete with a trip to Time's Square.
Motley is the only way to describe the crew that was there - David, Troy, William Riddick [up for New Year's in NYC..a first for all of us, as he planned to Take Time's Sq].; Doug Jones...I believe and myself.  We sat...in David's smoked something loving and Major...probably Kush, then wen't on into the night...Time's Square and I believe a party or club. 
Or perhaps it was Time's Square, then us coming back to the apt to chill and smoke.  THat makes more sense. 
It was great - we sat...eat...laughed...Brother-Loved each other.  At the end of the day...I guess with the New Year or holiday season...we decided to pray. 
We were all honest...open...vulnerable and supportive...surprisingly candid, once the TRUST and NEED for this moment was
 felt/secure/clear. 
Then came tears, hugs...and Brother Love. 
We were brought together...
on that evening
 for that purpose...
because we felt a need...and it was beautiful.
[Wisdom certainly played its part.]

We left - Troy in the Driver's Seat and Will was in the Front Passenger seat...taking in all of the EAST Side.
I was firmly in the back seat.  I was zoned out...watching,
as TROY has some RIGHT VIBRATION 
blending into the skyline. 
I remember feeling the curves and the hug of the wheels, as we whipped through the East side on our way onto the FDR South.  I closed my eyes to avoid dizzy/sick/wooziness... I can feel setting in...and I smile

then I saw them...it looked to be a Peacock...like the one in the Partridge Family...and he/it/they had 8 plums...feathers bursting from it's backside...FANNING OUT Red/Yellow/Green/[Burnt] Orange/Bronze[Brilliant Brown]/PINK[Coral]/Blue/Gold 
The Many sides of ME.  It was so vivid...

Actually... it was simply like a fan...8 slides/blades/parts/piece...of those colors...all now feeling like they were a part of me. The me's...My Me's.  All of the parts that make up Me...My Many ...8 sides.

it was SOOOOOOOO vivid...clear...soothing...and a curiosity.  I was open to exploring all of those different sides of my being.

So there, like in the pic above...I saw all of that I am still finding makes me.  How much I have to explore.

Have I explored them all?
Am I supposed to Decide on 1 or Try...LIVE all of them out??
Where does this picture of me currently fall in this FAN-ning out!??

Are those all...the only...The # of LIVES I have?

I know I was...Curious...Open...Excited about that.



Recently. I have been looking for the right image to represent...BeNU

This 

...As we zoomed down the Highway...it seemed to be moving...swaying...fanning to the rhythm,
as I breathed it got stronger.

Brilliant.

Full Circle...or a clear and Present.

Thank you gentlemen
...for that moment
...for it brought on 
so much clarity...conjured the
next moment
the car. 

[I keep going back to not knowing my power...or at least the focus required to fulfill my dreams.  I didn't have the strength to go make it happen,
falling back on PorgynBess and the travails of 10+ years ago.
As of late...my Lives seem a jumble...the FAN is Jammed. 
I have but to
make my next move to
un JAM-iT. 
I am just uncertain what that should be
...how that should be
...and where that should be.

Which PLATE is Next?

Brother Love.

Hmmmm...

AURAL FIXATION - Moonchild - "Whistling" (Official Audio)

LOVE

HMMM..ever-timely

2020, 02

BeNU

The name is my iteration of something I found folly with and while I hoped to, never imagine I would have the strength to live up to.  Much like the storied MOREHOUSE MYSTIQUE, BeNU would become an albatross for me, as I never quite felt I knew what that meant.  I  never really took the dive...outside of Paris.  Even there it felt like I wasn't wholly fleshing it out.  I was being led, but was I properly following?  Did I have the patience to wait it out?  Not certain...I "con-ned"my way through it...living vicariously through the lives and accomplishments of those I WAS HELPING see/feel/and use their STRENGTHS Unapologetic ally.

That said, now I find myself at an odd impasse - recognizing the need for change in order to demonstrate the growth I have experienced.

A break...a full breather.  So, these epiphanous moments can codify and allow for me grow out of the cocoon and past the caterpillar-phase.

But where...and how?  Funny, it used to be when I came to these TRUTHS about me, I would be happy and hesitant - Happy that I am at a point of seeing this TRUTH; Hesitant because I wasn't sure if I could afford it, but knew that I needed to follow it.

That faith may have been shaken but it is not lost.

A job...a career...a passion...a hustle...a gig...

LIFE.

"Nobody Can Be You" by Steve Arrington (Featuring Fat Albert & the Cosby...

Hmmm...