So, fast forward to this production...pulled-in by Carlton. Working with these spiritual, connected, artists...supporting and collaborating on a friend's vision. BEAUTIFUL for me...in HARLEM...closure is...I am getting ahead of myself...lol.
This came at a time when I was really beginning to FEEL the need for closure from NYC, recognizing I HAVE LIVED MY NY and LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. Returning to this place...in THIS SPACE I AM IN...has afforded me great closure on my NYC Experience, but has also been wrought with reminders of ...ways I could have POSSIBLY made a wrong...THAT I DO NOT WANT. TRUTH...is one thing. That I accept. However, I am...and have been, for as long as I can remember, one who dotes on his FUCK-UPs, FOIBLES & FUN-TIMES...for that is HOW I AM. So, I recognize that departure is necessary, for my MATURE self can't always resolve THAT and I want not to be made to feel badly for anything that MAKES ME BE ABLE TO BE ALIVE ONE MORE DAY...ME!
In the throws of arriving at all of this...in my head, Opening Night comes.
I'd just returned from checking on Brad, after the passing of his mother in Ambler and returned to the reality that you may just loose a job, when opting for family. AND UNDERSTAND WHY...:-)!!! Hardknocks, but LOVE. No problem... I'll STAY BUSY HELPING CARLTON. [That is a Lovingly-SNEEKY one...lol. It is almost as though he knew...PAY ATTENTION.
And I am sweating through the sweltering Humidity NYC hit us with...a bit of WISDOM, but mostly...in NATURE SWEATING and LISTENING...despite myself.
Weary and annoyed from my bald-spot downpour...lol...I am focused on making sure these dancers of every hue sex and shape and personality are ready! THAT HIT ME. I thought about our dressers for the opera and how attentive they'd been to detail...only to see that same attention to detail in Carlton. I saw the way we were scrambling and adjusting. I watched the inter-play amongst the performers...and REMEMBER THAT!!!
[ I told LEM this morning...I LOVE THAT ROUTINE. I LOVE GETTING UP EVERYDAY KNOWING I AM GOING TO...THIS....GOTO SLEEP and LOVE GETTING UP to START THE PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN. I LOVEd THAT!!!]
I watched and remembered. Then I considered just what they were doing - fleshing out an artistic representation of just NYC came to be from 1812 to the Present. The same thing I have been doing...in essence, since arriving back here. REVISTING the evolution of MY STEPS in NYC. From Birth to Now. I went to Ol' Gay PARIS...present, strong, with a clear vision and purpose...determined to flesh it out. I returned to NYC for a recharge...got it. In THAT process, I have bore witness to my own GHOSTS of MANHATTAN and found that I do not need to RE-VISIT...I LIVED IT! GO FORWARD.
This production...the process of being a part of this team - conceptualizing, shopping-the-market, research, fittings, subway, texting, in-the-mix, rehearsals in SOHO...now outdoor performances in Ft.Tryon Park...the personalities and the purpose of this presentation have served as an EVER-TIMELY reminder for ...of ME.
I soaked it up...lovely. I am thankful, once again for my friends FRESH and SEASONED...STOMP along this path...giving guidance...in every way possible for me. I appreciate it. I get it.
The punctuations have come. The closure that I spoke of earlier is eminent. Just as my day of departure from NYC comes closer. I am so ready for NEW, NEXT steps it hurts.
The Show closes tonight. This show closes tonight.
SHOW and PROVE
4 U 2 U
4 WE.
Merci Beaucoup
