Note to SELF!!!

I have this odd habit of WRITING to MYSELF.  It is something I have noticed before...in my journals - entries made days, weeks, months even before their relevance.  Odd to me at the time, but I still found folly in recording these entries.  They are the ones that made me know that I should be writing.  My finger and brain in some weird sync.

I knew they were testing me.

Truly selfish people can never forgive.

I realized the same thing happened with my music.  These days in NYC have brought nothing but MORE FRUSTRATION for me.  While in a WORN OUT WISDOM STATE, I determined to play my own THUMP and let it LULL me to SLEEP.  It did just the opposite, though.  It WOKE ME UP!!!

WISDOM actually had the TRIBAL wave I ached for.

BEAUTIFUL hit my spirit and vocal chords in the way I needed and

HAPPY got me GiGGLY, as I once again caught wind of the spirit that took me to PARIS in the first place.

 However it was
MAJOR that really got me.

I'd written this song first.  It was a challenge put to me by my bandmates...WRITE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP...HuH?  What are you talking about?  Ok...and so I THOUGHT I was writing about Major...MY FIRST LOVE...after MUSIC!  However...while he may lay claim to the title, the song is about NYC!  sHE is...had been my first LOVE.  LoL  Trying Times have seen this relationship sour, both parties resolute about my need to go!!! LoL
 [This is the thing - I am driven so crazy being here...I am never able to fully get a handle on the happenings here...whether because of self-created drama or just crazy in the city.  I am ...I keep SAYING I am over it, but the reality is I will not be happy until I rid of NYC, but to go where?[

WISDOM...every lyric speaks to EXACTLY WHERE I am right now...and TRYING to go NEXT.  What am I to do?  LEAVE...MY WAY ...MY WAY ...MY WAY!?!?!

Now is the time.  This is true.  My mind is cloudy with this reality.  I am certain that I have a plan and have put those pieces in place to make that happen.  Funny thing, the healthy I appear to want to get the more people come test me.  Perhaps my want to be the OLD me is the wrong tactic.
I AM NEW.
CLEARER and
MORE ME.

And can I really write music?  Am I just a joke or do I just need to focus?

Hmmm...I am not going to be rushed.  I am going to TAKE MY TIME and MAKE it HAPPEN...just as I need it to!

Hmmm...Donne Moi la Sagess!!!

I AM TAKING IT!

PEACE

http://www.chpak.com/#!music

HMMM...