SILVER's SAGESS

What then is Life 

- what is it for - 

What is its Great End?
Manifestly, in the light of all knowledge, and according to the
testimony of all men who have lived...

Life is the fullest, most
complete enjoyment of the possibilities of human existence. 

It
is the development and broadening of the feelings and emotions,
through sound and color, line and form.
 ...hence come literature with romance, poetry, and essay;
hence rise Love, Friendship, emulation, and ambition,
and the ever widening realms of thought, 

in increasing circles of ...  

Truth.

~ It is ... 

free enjoyment ... 

paths and emotions  ...
need for expression ... full meaning ...

~ W.E.B. du Bois, from The Revelation of Saint Orgne the Damned,
The Education of Black People)

COREY KNEW

[...Was LOST, but now I'm found!!!]

...was BLIND, but NOW I SEE!!! 

I was lost...searching.
Couldn't anyone tell?  Started out strange..."worked" my way to damaged.  Now, as I ponder the possibility of [still] others [foreign] perspectives, I can't help but wonder, "Did everyone know/think I was crazy/lost/aching?"  For the voices I so long ignored, now re-sound a BOOM too hard to turn from!!!

I was a...ME!!!  This is true.  However, I was a MESS!!!  Organized Confusion is what I called it.  Perhaps, that is what everyone saw/felt.  Perhaps, that is what they were warning me against.   

But how can you warn someone against themselves?

If you knew...why not say something?!  They tried, with tricks, but the guidance I desired...required, they had no idea about.  No one did...until I started studying every Saturday!!!

Corey knew.  He tried to tell me - inviting me in...sharing his home, his words, his world, his truth, his culture, his knowledge, his mother, his Harlem, his Morehouse, his Paris, his Senegal, his Music, His Song.  He saw...he knew that fire and tried to give me guidance to help turn the light on, before it forever be lost.

On THIS DAY...it is the memory, the love, the time, the brotherhood, the spirit, the Laughter and ELEGANCE I celebrate!!!

On THIS DAY I do - as I have done everyday since we first RE-Connected on 8th Street...over Sausage slices -  I ask that you (as the rest of my ANGELS) continue to Guide My Feet...While I RUN THIS RACE!!!

I am DOING WHAT I CAN to honor everything your being in my LIFE afforded me - FREEDOM, LAUGHTER, LOVE, LIGHT...SPIRITUALITY...an OPEN HEART, MIND, and SOUL!

Merci Beaucoupe MON FRERE!!!

[I miss you TERRIBLY...hope to, honor you wonderfully!!!]

43

may i be gay

like every lark

who lifts his life

from all the dark

who wings his why

beyond because

and sings an if

of day to yes

E.E. Cummings

There is NOTHING new under the Sun!!!

Today, as I watched FRIDA (for the hundreth time) I realized...My parents and I are more alike than we...I realized. I have often characterized my family as apolitical - A collection of "fringe-bougie" blacks/negros, doing their damdest just to be "get on"...ignoring the crazy that seemed so evident to me!!  They didn't MARCH, RIOT or SIT-IN.  They worked, pledged, and pontificated.  They became "The America Dream."  For me that seemed but a farce.  From my  perspective, they "bought-in" and were doing everything in their power to insure my sister & I did the same!!

However, 

when considered through the eyes/phyche of a more "seasoned" Man, I realize:

- They were young, driven, intelligent [brown] people, attempting to make some sense of all that WAS swirling about them in the very racist, very segregated, very sexist 60s.
- College educated & strong, with solid familial structures, the notion of being an active participant against the foolishness manifests in everyone differently.

THEY LEFT, 

opting to come North [with their collection of college friends] and worked with at-risk youth in Upstate NY...

[Dig-up all your pearls...teach the boys and girls - BADU]

...imparting, to the next generation, all that they gained.

[This was followed by graduate degrees... 

& ME!!!]

- Their form of protest was SUCCESS.  Not that success that shines in the sun, but dulls under pressure. Instead, the success rooted in depth, richness & truth...that BLOSSOMS, no matter the hour.
[For...ever I tried to make sense of my father's doting on how he excelled on every exam given at [his job].  It wasn't about proving to himself, "Yes I Can!!!"...but, DISPROVING "their" assertion, "He Couldn't Possibly!!!"

[Middle-Class(?) blacks have often faced an unruly, unfair judgement - vilified by whites & blacks [and others] for the same reason, "Why are THEY able?"  Thought to be "immediately" snobbish, their cool reactions could never be seen as bracing for [what's next].  Rather, is was often misconstrued for Bragging!!!]

I AM, Because THEY ARE.  

I honor THAT 

through 

my work

...LIFE and LOVE.

They left the oppressive, confusion of a space that no longer complimented them for the land of proported opportunity.

I have done the same. 

  [the confounding grey, for Beaute' Facades...;-)]

[I'm Ok...it's OK!!!]

I get it!!!

Just a Thought

Does anyone else think it IRONIC that 

The Most Popular HIV Positive person 

in the world 

is 

a BLACK man 

named 

MAGIC JOHNSON!?!?!?!

Hmmmm...

Apre-See-A-SON

I remember how joyfully my sister and I used to run to the entrance doors of [THE] PONDEROSA/BONANZA [steakhouse(s)] or RED LOBSTER [seafood] restaurants...where I would undoubtedly order a hamburger and fries. ;-)

 

[Hey...to me, at that age...that was practical and my cool "eating-out" food.   Practical, because I could get my parents to pay for [what is still] my all-time favorite meal...[although now it is turkey meat]..and a toy, too boot!!!]

I remember the PRIDE in my FATHER's stride 

...[behind us].  

I have thought often how his chest was always poked out.  

Now, 

I understand and appreciate that posture:

PROTECTIVE

looking out for Crazies (cause my sister and I weren't, while my Mom mentally mapped out her Post-meal SHOPPING at the mall!!!)

PROUD

to be able to take HIS FAMILY out to dinner...HE EARNED THAT!!!

I get it.

MERCI BEAUCOUPE!!!

Hmmm...FAMILY

THAT has been an interesting 

NOTION/REALITY...

Ever-Changing/Ever-EVOLVING

DYNAMIC in My LIFE -

BOTH - the one "Created" for ME...

and the one created by ME!!!