FOUNDATION - Art Of Noise - Beat Box (Diversion One) [1984] HQ HD

Hmmmmm...

WuT I C

 

Current Aural Fixation - The Sun

Hmmm...

Rashaan . . .

Lewis Taylor... 

Rapheal...

Donny...

Donnie...

Sam...

Bilal et al

Current AURAL Fixation - It Only Takes a Lifetime

Hmmm...

In the past 10 years I have reached new lows personally, doing/experiencing things I never thought I'd ever be bothered with...experience.  At a certain point, I just stalled...convinced that my ...and simple actions were contributing to where I was ending up.  Despite my every intention, just about every experience resulted in a hardwon lesson...and strained relations. 

this space...Corona...Black Lives Matter...What Next with Me...StaSiS...Needing a Deep Kneading...Noise...Being OVER the Past and not quite certain how to ...what to... or where to work towards the future...has me spent. 

RESET, yes.  But to what?  I have had so many lives...in NYC over these past 10years...My aim is to have the the next 10 represent some growth...evolution...clarity...balance...acceptance...Full-Fill-MeN-t...birthing...production...creation...sharing...travel...engagement...

I do not want to go out into this NEW York.  It is Too Much.  Determining where I am going at the end of this month...and forward is most pressing..bothersome...weighing on me. 

everything...Everything...iS EvErYtHiNg!!!!

And I am not interested.  I have no idea what to fight for.  Where to direct my energies and I fear that NYC will not afford me the SILENCE necessary to hear my next step!

1

BeNU

5 30 2020

Harlem is Still
...as Bk BURNS.

I am still this evening...morning.

I cannot quite get a grip on what is going on, or perhaps I do.

Meaning, my inability to SEE what is going on, is by fate and design - Let it happen...as it will.

Life...now, feels as though we are at a precipice.  I am in NYC...my family in GA.

I am rarely, if ever, truly been afraid for myself.  Rather, in the grandscheme of things my family has always been on greater concern than anything else.  I worry about them all of the time...it is in my DNA, I guess.  I worry...to the point of HAMPERING myself from...

I worry, because we feel disconnected me here, them there.  I stayed away  from THERE.  I was never as ease there.  I am here because this is LOVE for me.  I worry because THEY are LOVE for me THERE.

My FAMILY is broader...is the concern for THEM is different...There safety is a great concern however, I am not so concerned about their physical, as much a I am their mental.

I look as myself - the golden brown, the amber eye; bald and hunched...frowning and trying to discern what is really going on.  How is it going to affect me?  How is my life going to change?  I sleeplessly wondering about THE NEXT.

Ill fitting...old forms words feelings fears fuckery desires fetishes needs re-actions lies truths...miscommunications...

kicking and screaming...I have been slow to take to what is happening, I believe or am I just bracing myself.

What will I do?  How will I defend myself?

How will defend...help...reach my loved ones?

I need to leave GOTHAM.

I can go stay with my parents...in the bottom half of the house or with my sister.

Carry forward as I do.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO LIVE THERE?  I HAVE ALWAYS  WARNED AGAINST IT...but I am crazy.

What next??

REALly

The 1st shot brought the 2nd to mind.

There is a sadness in both photos that is inescapable.  Their respective resilience will be acknowledged and lauded.

However, As an observer of culture and lover of his BROTHERS, I am hard-pressed to ignore what I 

am seeing feeling because of these photos.

The overwhelming thing, I believe, is to remain unbothered.  

THEY GOT...THIS.  

That is what I am seeing...hoping...resolute about.

...stills me the same way that a ROTHKO does.  I am forced to consider ALL of the layers...intentional or otherwise.

Hmmm...