Saturday, July 09, 2016

DREADED

I sit before you...on the morning after.  Yet another petal has fallen.  Yet another life has moved on.  I have chosen to be still...and "get healthy."  All the while the world has kept on moving.  Progressing into turmoil.


I can't help but think of that painting.  That fateful painting  the doors of that bus opened-up to as James [Binion] and I stepped into our first full day of exploring Amsterdam.  I bought the painting on-sight, thinking that this somehow mystically was connected to the BLACK BIRD from Caen.  There IT sat, atop a brittle branches of a the last tree standing as the city was AFLAME in the background.  I was riveted...convinced that this somehow harkened to  me using this voice in the way that I should...coming back to this brittle branch and sing, just as the BLACK BIRD from CAEN had...for me.


As I sit...looking out onto the rooftops, jazz serenading this observation...as only it should, I am taken by the parallels the image before me would have to the painting...if taken in abstract with me sitting UPTOWN...atop a CITY...HOT...HEATED...SWELTERING in the confusion that is blanketing this world...or so it would seem.  Perhaps THE BUBBLE is truly rupturing.


Two very significant revelations came to me as I negotiated my time in Paris...alone and foreign - the first being that we are in trouble.  We are so disconnected and so cynical about overwhelming information and images we are being fed every second we exist.  This is especially true in Metropolises like NYC, San Fran, Atlanta and Paris...all of which I can speak to personally.  There is NO way to connect with one another, we are so personally distracted.  The delusion of convenience has brought a rupture in human interaction that we cannot soon escape from.  This LACK of CONNECT...of COMMUNITY has bread a MisUnderstanding of just how far we have come and a refusal to  accept the truth about the root of all of our issues.  We do not talk, we TYPE...and POST. 


Paris swirled about me, sour with disdain for compliments, as that would be pase' at this point.  Still she reveled in all that was showered upon her.  I didn't always see that City of LiGhT, but stayed just long enough to experience the Life of Les Miserables.  C'est n'pa CUTE!  The Disney Land...EuroDisney for Adults I was able to see...set my stomach churning.  In my gut I could feel this foretold what NY and certainly the US in "THEORY" was becoming - DISNEYLAND for RICH ADULTS.  We...Les Miserables were all too distracted to realize that.  So many isms on display amongst the storied streets of Paris and NYC.  So much...playing.  Everyone, playing...except those to weary with their reality to play.  Indigo and I used to sit and speak on just how lucky we were to know what a bit of freedom to THINK INDEPENDENTLY...was.  Most people cannot afford to, so DON'T think outside the box.  It takes too much to fight it, plus with all of the ASPIRATION being dangled before you....US, how can we resist?? 


The Second revelation I could see in that painting or because of it...and turning 40 and creating my own babies for the firs' time...Something Is about to HAPPEN.  I thought I would cause it...because  my song or voice or actions.  I happily sat by, afterawhile, as my health and Escape from NYC became of greater priority. 


I have felt in my gut...for the last six years...something coming.  I have watched as this country...my country has become the laughing stock of the greater World Nations, for something so seemingly trivial as race.  That being said, I have always contended this is never just about race, but moreso about the HAVES and HAVE-NOTS.  As the Euro flipped and more Europeans flooded America, the shift has been gradual...not at all subtle and not at all unexpected.  Sad...scary...telling...INFURIATING...inescapable especially in places like NYC and Paris.  This are cities where the rich from the Floundering EuroNations have once again found refuge, exacting a Class shift masked in racism that has found folly in our age-old Achilles Heal.    We have watched our cities be repopulated causing a shift in every facet of the socio-economic make-up of this country.  The world has watched as the Real Estate trade has made once-livable areas out of reach for the layman, but prime pickings for the 1%.  I have watched my city, NYC, shed...literally turn about 10pages before me.  With every turn, she is becoming that much more intolerant of what used to make her a catch...her mix.  Her make-up has always been a Motley to say the least...but never soooooo  obviously conflicted.  The very things that brought all of the NEW FOLKS here have been replaced with their MassMarketMall Counterparts.  TheFiFthElementing-of-NYC happening right before out eyes. 


I find it equally interesting how STOPnFRISK was enacted...exacted on the Black n Brown communities, just has the Real Estate boom happened and The Gentrifiers were being lured here with SexintheCity, TheDevilWearsPrada, et al.  They "cleaned" the streets they could just long enough to make a point - we are THUGS -...allowing for folks to now re-populate once largely Brown and Black areas...Harlem n Brooklyn. 


It all seems so insidious.  These people...my people have no idea what is about to happen and no where to go.  You see, I feel like we are trying to Reason with CRAZY...with SAVAGES.  These folks have gone so far as to re-write history, destroy Historical Monuments that challenge how they long to be perceived.  There is no rationale to be had.  They are NOT rational.  They flaunt their bigotry loosely, constantly mocking the very President Elect...with no seeming recourse.  How does one imagine they might be able to sit across from the table with said FOLKS and ...WORK THROUGH all of the MIRE they have created...without being shot in the process?!?


For the moment...I hold my breath, as I have been for 6 years and await the next STROKE proving the Firey, Rainbow background from my AMSTERDAM PAINTING is ...was speaking to was  have seen and what is to come. 


I can no longer HOLD MY BREATH. 
We have got to be smart.  If we are not able to see the full picture, find one whose sight you can trust and listen.  Pay attention.  Do NOT be RASH.  Be ACTIVE, Vigilant, but NOT CRAZY. 


Equal and Opposite.  What does that mean for US??


Too many petals dropping from Le Fleur. 


Too Many PLUMES from my wings


I am Loosing my Wings.


Hmmm...


Interesting...What is there I can do?


Guide My Feet...while I run THIS race!!!


PEACE





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