Is this the NEW MATRIX

or an extension of the old way...

...just progressive?

Is this how it is to be gone???

Does everything ...that has existed no longer count??

If so, 

I would like to know...if that is the reason I would RANDOMLY bump into 

Debra Shaw and Tony Brown

...grabbing juices at WATKINS on 125th Street

...just as the CV was hitting the States.

I stood there

...feeling all giggles and smirks

...as I considered that 

I was literally DONE 

facing all that stuff.

Time for a RESET.

Madame Shaw 
Our experience has haunted me long enough.  In fact, I must now flip it and learn that I am cannot blame you for things out of my control.

My feelings included.

You are part of my Paris experience.  It is Black History.

Our most recent history...LOVED seeing you AND you recounting to Tony that it was me who 1st told you about the Juice Bar while living in Paris.  

Ish...loved that.

Merci Madame Shaw

PEACE

Holding My Breath...Agaiin

I asked for this.

I wanted people to STOP

I needed for people to see What They

How They

 were doing 

wrong

...take a moment 

and consider 

just how we are 

Living Learning 

and Claiming to LOVE

I asked for time to decide ...

What next?!

The SOLITUDE BOOMS with SILENCE

UnEASE.

DisCOMFORT

Listen to...

 ME, 

in relation to The World; 

My Family; 

The UNIVERSE

Where do I fit?  

That is yet to be determined, 

as 

The Game is currently 

Being Shuffled.

Moonchild - "Whistling" (Official Audio)

This is not the window I imagined

...or perhaps it is

I have sat in many window

...with a laptop or pad

Looking out onto the  ‘scape

...and thinking of a StoryBook...something or other.

I do not know what is going on.

Fear is n not knowing and going forward.  

I am going to run out of money quickly. 

Tomorrow, I am going downtown to look out at that 

‘Scape

Get away from the hostility that lies in wait in Harlem

and get meds

I MISS MY BIKE..

This is new and raw…

I feel like I am looking at a really hostile space.

I need to move.

I do not have an id...just the passport and birth certificate.

I waited...procrastinated and now cannot get my driver’s license.

Cutting off Manhattan...or the threat of that ....

Is going to keep alot of people at bay.

I am not certain just how t o 

Act...re-act or simply be.

The longer I stay...here.

Too many different types of people…

I heard it in their voices...my parents

My Father’s ...tone…

My Father’s ...ToNe.

What am I staying here for?

No jerking it out.  The longer I lie on my back...the worse it is getting….

The city Grumbles along...it was a beautiful day out...folks out to dinner...jogging...shopping...chillin

A skeletal version of what a normal Friday would be like with weather like this.

I am really up

I really just touched my face.

-my parents.

- my sister.

I am here...doing what I have been doing in NYC for the past 10 years …

LURKING.

Happy to Be Alive

...Present, but Not Always Pleasant.

Dire.

I cannot hear any common senhmmmse playing a part in any of this.

Hostile.

It will be just as bad in Atlanta...if not worse.

Hmmm...

Hmmmmm....Ok

Hmmmmm...