What Can I Say...

When I think of a cd...and artist...a collection of songs that USHERED me through THE TIMES...THOSE MOMENTS that ONLY the RIGHT KINDA' VIBRATION will see you through...KEEP the FAITH is THAT cd.
I listened to it...all of the way back to Morehouse - into College Park...back and forth between the Atlanta Airport Marriot-830 Westview Drive-and Chez Kevin...lol...in JAKE!!! ;-)
[My White 3-door coupe LX-R, with the plush brown interior/AC, et BOSE sound system made sure I made through Morehouse and Back to HARLEM!!!]

I can smell my car...I see the back speakers...feeeeel myself reclining into the harmonies as they bounce off my back windows.  The air swirled about, letting the sound find its way LOVINGLY to the front.  I whisked from NYC to NJ...Morehouse...GA...Decatur..Colle' Pah' [I've earned the right to use the VERNACULAR there ;-)] and back to Harlem in HIM!!!  That sound system is the reason I have the LOVE I do for alot of the music I do LOVE.
It had a BOSE tape player, so I had to play tapes...yes, cassettes!!!!  LoL  I would mix my own.  Once I bought a cd player for my room, it was on.  I was constructing mixes for every move I made in that car.  I loved it.  This was PRE-WISDOM for me, so it was TRULY ALL NATUR...VIRGINAL!!! ;-) This...Chaka...Donny...Sam...Colonel Abrahms...JM SILK...Bob Marley...SoulIISoul...BRANDY and SWV...lol...et al BUMPED from my BOSE. 

It is this album that played that fateful drive back from Morehouse Medical Center - November 17, 1997.  As I crossed the final bridge leading to my then-residence out in College Park...KEEP THE FAITH catching the final huffing-puffs of exasperation fresh from an AWFULLY POSITIVE revelation!!!  Tears coated my throat, as I listened to and LOVEd every note coming from BOTH our SOULS that day...that moment.  KEEP THE FAITH rained down in the first of what, up to that moment and forever forward, would be MY GA Epiphonous moments.

Love Me...Faith with 112...gives me visions of the TURMAN's exit.  I would often end up there for dinner during those years.  They are friends of my Parents from WAY BACK...extended family, as I have come to appreciate.  This song...makes me think of Terri, though.  She is my sister's...was...or maybe still is, her OTHER HALF.  Those 2 were just like sisters...going out, double dating...growing post-grad in GA-together.  We are the same age...and oddly enough, she was a welcome voice of reason...as well as gossip/release from MY OWN matriculation through myself in GA!!!  I LOVE those 2...as sisters they have gotten me straight on more than one occasion.

Caramel Kisses...a silly sounding tune, that I often tried to avoid, but she SANGS it.  The vocal arrangements are LOVE.  She MILKS the end LOVINGLY!!!

This IS FAITH at her APEX...for me, although FIRST LADY showed her chops...FIERCELY!!!

Life Will Pass You By [3:30]...

Hmmm...

Bonjour Soleil

"For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, 'Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.' Thus I became a madman."
--from The Madman (1918)

BONJOUR...that is how I greeted each day I was in Paris, thankful to be there and have the opportunity to flesh-out and follow my dreams.  What I did not anticipate is the SHEDDING.  I say it was the SHEDDING of SKINS...literally that happened after developing SHINGLES...AHHH STRESS!!!  All over my body EXCEMA and flaking...itching and aching, as my TRUE SELF worked it's way OUT!  

NY requires an armor...a layer of thickness, sharpness, LOVE,  savvy, angst, even angry ones develops to negotiate and THRIVE in the city daytoday.  THAT GLORIOUS PARISIAN SUN took to BURN EVERYONE of those BURDENSOME CHINKS off my BEING!!!  MASKS, Brother Gibrhan would say.  

It is interesting to arrive at this quote today, as I realized in the midst of an ALLERGIC reaction to a VACCINE I got yesterday...AAAAAAAAAAARGH...that ALL of THIS...CRAZY...shots/angst/worry/annoyance/stress/second-guessing/doubting...I'D HAPPILY DEPARTED FROM.  I returned to get healthy, rationalizing this to be the only place I know to get a Healthy Dose of Arts, as well...while I plan for the next.  Well, Now that the PASSION has STALLED, SANITY CALLED and SHOOK ME FREE...Now, I'm On My Way!!! - MAJOR[BeNU 2020]

No need to Re-Dress...just Be Bro.  That FEAR that drove me from the city...that I...my voice...my art...my talent aren't good enough...crazy.

BONJOUR SOLEIL

B-R-E-A-T-H-E

Make a Decision and BE.

Hmmm...REALLY.

CURRENT Aural FIXATION

This DISNEYLAND I'm Living In NOW...

Slipped Away From Me Somehow.  

Should I Still Endure?!?!?!

https://soundcloud.com/leronthomas/mr-new-york

HMMM...

Note to SELF!!!

I have this odd habit of WRITING to MYSELF.  It is something I have noticed before...in my journals - entries made days, weeks, months even before their relevance.  Odd to me at the time, but I still found folly in recording these entries.  They are the ones that made me know that I should be writing.  My finger and brain in some weird sync.

I knew they were testing me.

Truly selfish people can never forgive.

I realized the same thing happened with my music.  These days in NYC have brought nothing but MORE FRUSTRATION for me.  While in a WORN OUT WISDOM STATE, I determined to play my own THUMP and let it LULL me to SLEEP.  It did just the opposite, though.  It WOKE ME UP!!!

WISDOM actually had the TRIBAL wave I ached for.

BEAUTIFUL hit my spirit and vocal chords in the way I needed and

HAPPY got me GiGGLY, as I once again caught wind of the spirit that took me to PARIS in the first place.

 However it was
MAJOR that really got me.

I'd written this song first.  It was a challenge put to me by my bandmates...WRITE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP...HuH?  What are you talking about?  Ok...and so I THOUGHT I was writing about Major...MY FIRST LOVE...after MUSIC!  However...while he may lay claim to the title, the song is about NYC!  sHE is...had been my first LOVE.  LoL  Trying Times have seen this relationship sour, both parties resolute about my need to go!!! LoL
 [This is the thing - I am driven so crazy being here...I am never able to fully get a handle on the happenings here...whether because of self-created drama or just crazy in the city.  I am ...I keep SAYING I am over it, but the reality is I will not be happy until I rid of NYC, but to go where?[

WISDOM...every lyric speaks to EXACTLY WHERE I am right now...and TRYING to go NEXT.  What am I to do?  LEAVE...MY WAY ...MY WAY ...MY WAY!?!?!

Now is the time.  This is true.  My mind is cloudy with this reality.  I am certain that I have a plan and have put those pieces in place to make that happen.  Funny thing, the healthy I appear to want to get the more people come test me.  Perhaps my want to be the OLD me is the wrong tactic.
I AM NEW.
CLEARER and
MORE ME.

And can I really write music?  Am I just a joke or do I just need to focus?

Hmmm...I am not going to be rushed.  I am going to TAKE MY TIME and MAKE it HAPPEN...just as I need it to!

Hmmm...Donne Moi la Sagess!!!

I AM TAKING IT!

PEACE

http://www.chpak.com/#!music

HMMM...

Am I working towards...

...hiding-out

 in case of...

or 

running from 

ME?

Hmmm...

Note to self.

Now is the time.

I do not want to be here.  I am in OZ...of my own making, apparently.  I am not quite certain, beyond the fact that I continue to elect to be here...why I am here!  I cannot afford to go anywhere else and can't stop smoking long enough to save any substantial amount to do anything.  My nerves are shot.  I figured I would have gained...something by getting "healthy", but I have only dug a deeper mental hole for myself, where self-doubt has taken on a new manifestation.  Fodder on the wings...as it were.

I have got to get out.  I have committed ...in some warped way to this and I am not quite certain just how to exit.

HELP...seriously.

I love NY, but HATE myself here.  WOW...there it is.

I LOVE NY, but HATE MYSELF HERE.

AND...I LOVE MYSELF...lol...SO, BASTA NYC and ALL THAT IT MEANS!

Hmmm...so, I am a singer, artist, creative, collaborator, hard-worker and detail-oriented adventure-seeker with a BA in English, 20years media training.  Having lived abroad...oh, but you don't know about that.

I believe I have had my faith...shattered.  In myself and everything else.  I am not certain...what I am doing...why I am doing...how I am doing.

GUIDE MY FEET.

I got LOTS of LOVE and A LIFETIME's WORTH of experience to share...

Where to NEXT!?

I am all about moving FORWARD.

THIS IS NOT FORWARD.

Donne moi La Sagess!!

What are the odds...

...that I would WISDOM-OUT to THIS???

[PAYING ATTENTION]

Hmmm...